Change your thinking, change your life

We have all heard of the famous quote “as a man thinketh so is he”.  How true is this this statement you may ask. Well you might be shocked to know that every single result you get as time goes by is a result of your thoughts. The way you think about every situation 80% of the time determines your outcome. The way we think is usually as a result of the our self-consciouness. 

Change your thinking

As a child you are born with no self concept. It would be true to say every opinion,feeling, attitude or value has been learned since childhood. You are also born unafraid, with no fear or limitation. Though as time goes by fear begins to creep in. We suddenly become afraid of failure, loss or rejection. We soon begin to feel we are too small to accomplish a certain task therefore we hide behind the words ” i can’t ” or “it’s too difficult”. Truth be told we are capable of everything and anything. But our thoughts always act as stumbling blocks. On our self mirrors we are always David going to battle Goliath. Changing the way you think has to begin by changing your beliefs. If you want to change the results of anything you must first change it’s beliefs. Beliefs of inferiority or deficiency that anyone has ever said about you are untrue and unreal. If ever growing up your parents always pointed out to your short comings instead of your strengths then its about time you got rid of those thoughts. You need to block every little voice in your head saying it’s too hard. Replace it with a positive affirmation that i can and i will.

Change your life

When you change the quality of your thinking, you instantly change the quality of your life. As i had said earlier the way you think automatically determines your outcome. In order to change your life change your thinking. Starve all the negative thoughts and leave no room for any limitations. To change your life you need to stop listening to what others say. You need to stop being afraid of getting into a new venture because your afaid the idea will not resonate with others. 70% of the time people dont even care what you do or don’t do. They only give their two cents opinion then move on with their life. At the end of the day no one cares weather you signed the deal or not. If your self esteem is not high you will always affected by the action and reaction of others. 

I don’t promise that it’s easy to break off beliefs inorder to change your thinking then change your life. It’s a process but once it’s done, you will never be the same again. Your life will change in ways you can’t possibly imagine. 

The path of least resistance.

The path of the least resistance is the path that seeks the easy way out in attaining the end result of anything. Most people around the world want the easy way out in life, that is why there are the get rich quick schemes. No one wants to have early mornings and late nights but i bet we all want to have a enough money in our bank accounts to take us throughout our life time without ever having to lift a finger. The reason why 80% of the worlds wealth is controlled by 20% of the population (80/20 rule) is because this 20% of the population is will to take the long way and the high way to get what they want.

Sometimes we take the path of the least resistance without even knowing we ever did. Take for instance if you arrive to work at the last minute then leave in the first hour, you study for your test on the last minute then you my friend are on this path. The thing is are you thinking long term or do you want to get that thing over and done with. One thing that is common among the 20% of people is that they got stinking rich, yes! But they had to go through the process. The process is what makes them who they are. They enjoyed the process. It did not matter how long it took, how smart they had to work or how much they had to put up with but it was what it brought out of them. You will probably never know how strong you are untill you take the long way rather than the short cuts.

Humble beginnings are no excuse. Most of us have come from family’s that had nothing to offer. Excuses are the first that make us take the easy way out. It’s too hard for me, i don’t have enough education, that field is too crowded, i cannot follow up a clean diet. These are all excuses, they delay the process and so they make your goal seem un attainable. Instead of complaining of how you did not get the scholarship you were hoping for, start up your own business.  Instead of complaining of your weight go to the gym 3 times a week, those slimming pills are the easy way your taking. You either do it or don’t do it but don’t make excuses.

Everything that you can ever be is upto you and the only limit is what you place in your imagination. Before you take the path of expedience think Long term.


Life in my 20’s

I turned 20, 2 years ago and i was definitely thrilled about life. Just having have come from being a teen, i wanted to test the waters on the other side. First i hated being called a teenager, dear world i knew i was a teen but you did not have to associate everything i ever did to that stage. So you get why i wanted to bid good riddance to that stage. Here i was 2 years ago, i had no idea how adulting is all about but i wanted to embrace it. Now 2 years down the line and i still have no idea how it’s done. I haven’t done so much in my life but here are the random things i have gone through or rather every 20 something year old has to

  1. School! School! School!

Wait! I thought i left all the pressure that comes from school in high school, man i was so wrong. Having to wake up early in the morning to attend lectures is hard but having to deal with assignment, long projects and sometimes group work is unbearable. The most exciting thing about school is having to mingle with new people from everywhere. Am getting a hang of it and it’s not so bad; that degree isn’t just gonna show up on it’s self i have to work on it.

    2. Finding my art.

For me my 20’s have been my most profound years. I have learned what art i want to go with. Since high school i always loved writing, i started off with a little poetry and i always knew that i would end up here. Naturing this art has mostly happened in my 2 years of 20’s. Knowing how to do it and when to has been amazing. To every 20 something year old out there and has a skill this is your time to grow It all round. If you still don’t know it, don’t beat yourself up it will come, trust me it always does. 

   3. Friends

As someone once said “no man is an island”. Yes, no one can leave alone. This point in my life has taught me who my friends are. The once that would die for me and the once that would kill me (not literally of course). I don’t want to live alone and at this point i think the few people i have around me are everything.

   4. Boy ooh! Boys

I have graduated from crushes now i want commitment. Not that in high school i couldn’t but growing up with an African parent as i did that was unacceptable. In these two years i have had my own fair share from mamas boy, bad boy and others that shall not be named. Finding love is pretty hard, wait what is love in the first place? . I probably don’t know but i will go with what i feel at the moment and it’s not so bad. I am not demanding i want someone who will ride and die with me and for me. 

Okay! So i probably have no idea what am doing with my life, but i guess it’s not so bad. I might not have everything under control but i know where i want to go. 

She-hero

 Super hero’s are many at times associated with the male characters. Society beleives that women are the ones who always need saving, that we are too weak or emotionally unstable. Here i am today proving all that notion wrong. We are not weak, or emotionally unstable rather we are strong and the voice of reason. Show me a stable home i will show you the woman behind it.

In my life time i have been raised by a single mom. I have always seen women as pillers and corner stones of many families. That is why am writing this about strong influential women around the world.

1. Beyonce

Beyonce Giselle Knowles is currently one of the influential woman around the world. She is an actor, a musician,a mother an activist and leader of her fan base BeyHive, talk of doing it all. Queen B is confident and embraces her femininity. Her current net worth is $350 million, that translates to 36.4 billion kenyan shillings. Reading through her story, she never gave up. She put in that work and is currently enjoying the fruits of her labour. She has sold over 100 million records and has won over 20 Grammy awards. 

2. Taraji Penda Henson

Taraji Henson is an African-American actress and a mother.  She has studied acting in Howard university. She has stared on films such as think like a man, person of interest and Hidden figures. Taraji has also stared in Empire as Cookie Lyon where she comes out as a very story woman. That’s where my love for her begun. So i started reading about her. In 1994 she had her son and has since then hustled her way up in the industry. Winning film awards to also being featured in tracks (bet you dint know that). There it is she is not only a mom, but also going big.

3. Grace Msalame

Then lastly our very own Grace Msalame. She is a media personality and the ambassador of vivo active wear. Grace being a mother of two very beautiful twin daughters is woman i personally look up to. Reading her story through her blog ( which you should definitely check out) is amazing. Going through everything and coming out strong is just out of this world. She currently works at Bamba Tv as content and acquisitions manager and on top of a that Christian. Now if she is not perfection then i don’t what perfect is to you.

The above record speaks for itself, women can be heroes not just of the world but also heroins of their community or even of themselves. As Beyonce sung in Run the world (Girls) “we’re smart enough to get these millions,strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business”

The Quater life crisis

 

​This is a Period between twenties to thirties, in which a person begins to doubt themselves. This is brought by the pressure of becoming an adult. It is a Period of intense soul searching.

86% of twenty something’s go through this phase. It’s a period of uncertainty and indecisiveness. You begin to question every decision you make whether it’s right or not. One begins to think about their destiny and if they are working hard enough or going further from it.

QLC can be tough especially if you have no idea your going through it. So i have put together some signs:

√comparing your self to others. I know this because i was there once (still am though working through it). I used to ask myself “How come all my friends seem to know what they are doing with their lifes while i look like am living through it?”. But i have come to understand we all have different paths and just because someone else gets there before you doesn’t mean your on the wrong path. Maybe they are faced with the same uncertainty as you.

√Frustration- This can be because your stuck in job that you don’t particularly enjoy, or you feel you have so many decisions to make about your life and you don’t know which ones to choose. Frustration can lead to anger which leads to detachment from others.

√Feeling your not good enough. Well adulating is hard. Coming from the childhood phase where your told everything you should do and given a reward to a phase were no one tells you what to do or where to be. It can be scary and the feeling of inadequacy can be present. 

Every problem carry’s a solution with it, right?. Here are some things that help you hack the quarter life crisis.

* Stop trying to please everyone. No one is going to be happy with every choice you make. Think about your own well being first. 

* Listen to your inner voice. That one voice that whispers to you is the one you should listen to. Trust your gut and your instinct.

* Unveil your identity. You can do this by trying out different things. Understand what exactly excites you. Instead of working for that company that underpays you, you can go for what you enjoy doing.

*Find mentors and role models. Someone you can look upto. They might not solve all your problems but they sure do help a great deal. 

After all has been said and done i think QLC is normal. It is normal to be afraid. Don’t go into depression because your parents expect so much from you and you feel your short coming. It’s okay you’ve got this!!

Ever looked at someone and wondered how much you love them. Be it the love of your life or your best friend. That one person with whom you connect with on every level. They always have a way of picking you up when sh** goes down. Someone that loves you for who you are.

Growing up i have always been an introvert. Making friends for me has been hard. I remember this one time while i was in primary school, i had recently changed schools and i went a whole term with no friend. Am the type of person who has a bunch of acquaintances but no close friend. Well that’s just me.

I don’t know about you but it’s not easy to find someone you can instantly click with. Someone who laughs at the same jokes as you. That one person you tag on all funny weird memes on social media.

Honestly i think these type of people are guardian angels. They protect us and always want the best for us. They may offer some tough love (i particularly know this because of my best friend) but they mean good.

These are the people we should whisper a pray to God about. The kind that want to grow with you. People who have your number on speed dial. They are our better half, our soul mates.

That is why i have written this article to everybody out there who is a true friend. Cheers!!! You are my favorite humans.

“You don’t have  to be weird to be my friend. I will teach you”

Self love

The biggest struggle in life is the struggle of knowing,understing and accepting ourselves. Living in a world where everyone expects you to work hard,be successful and always win, it can be quite the hustle especially since as human being we are flawed, imperfect and have short comings.

What is self love? Self love is all about honouring ourselves, being true to ourselves. loving ourselves unconditionally. Self love is not something you can read from a book. It is more of an action. It’s something you have to develop and practice every day. 

what do you see every morning when you look at yourself in the mirror. Do you see a potential being full of endless possibilities or do see a being that isn’t capable of anything. The first step towards self love is from the way we think about ourselves. There is power in positive thinking about ourselves. What we say to ourselves about ourselves goes deeper than we think. Feeding your mind positivity, believe you are worth it every single day is the real deal here. Think of how you don’t love the way your eyes look like. Now imagine there is someone out there who would give anything to have them. Thinking and appreciating the small things we take for granted can be a major step towards the bigger picture. If it helps, every day take atleast ten minutes and affirm to yourself that you love every single thing about you. 

Self love is closely related to self awareness. Self awareness is all about knowing ourselves. It is a process of growth and learning about us. What we like,what we love, what our preferences are. Take time know what drives you, cultivate on it and you will see how much you start appreciating your self.

Look i dont have the 7 keys to success or 5 steps to being rich (you know what i mean) but i sure know that self love makes you indestructible. Unconditional love is possible but only from yourself. Untill self love is present within, true love from the external can be impossible. It is more of an endless process of growth. You go from wrong to slightly less wrong. 

3 Things women lie about.

We have all at some point in our relationships lied about something. Whether male or female. Look i dont mean to stereotype any gender. Just thought it’d be nice to write from a females point of view. 

1. I don’t care how much money you have.

Really ladies is this true? Do you not care about his net worth?. Remember that one time you never dated a guy because his pocket wasn’t deep enough. 

2. I don’t care about your ex. 

For this am also guilty. There is always that one ex who never goes away. She is always there somewhere, lurking. Well in all honesty we do give a damn about those ex’s.

3. Have fun 

 when you hear this abort mission!! I repeat abort mission!! It’s not safe. She doesn’t want you to have fun. She hopes you fall off a cliff for not spending time with her.

So look am not a relationship guru or anything. But the next time you feel like something is bugging you instead of saying it’s okay you might as well be honest it goes a long way. 

START NOW

If you are waiting for that one moment to do what you have always wanted to do or become who you have always dreamed of becoming. Then you  my friend might as well be waiting for something that’s never going to happen. There is simply no profound moment when something special will happen then you will know it’s time. There is no perfect timing or a certain set out age to get you out of your comfort zone. The right time is now,begin today not tomorrow or this coming week.

You don’t have to see the whole staircase or have all the right answers. You only need a clear vision and be brave enough to start. The only thing standing between you and who you want to become is yourself. You have everything it takes to get where you want.

One thing that always stops most of  us from working towards success,is that we are worried about what people will think. We think we have big dreams that don’t fit anywhere. So we have taught ourselves to dream but not too much. To speak but not loudly because someone else might think your abnoxious.

You shouldn’t really give a fuck if they think your too loud or have big dreams. You have limited amount of fucks to give and if you keep dishing them out to people who dont even matter you might end up being miserable. Am not guaranteeing you that people aren’t going to talk about you and your greatness you only need a thick skin to survive it.

Once someone asked “if you had a sneak peek into the future and saw how much of a great person you were going to become would you start working towards it or would you sit still and wait for it to happen”. The chances of us seeing our future are impossible but what we have power over now is the ability to start working towards success.

Cultivate in yourself and your dreams. START NOW!!

 

You are enough

​You are beautiful, you are enough. Whatever you touch blossoms. You are an angel. You don’t need to have everything figured out. You don’t need to lower your standards in order to fit in. Your circle doesn’t have to be big. 

If no one’s told you, your smile lightens up the room. Your aora is all types of right.

You give out positive energy and everyone loves being around you. You have done everything they said you wouldn’t. You have flaws. But you own them, then you try to make yourself better. You take blows from life but you always get right up.

This right here is my idea of perfection. Knowing your worth, maintaining your standards and keeping your head high.